Oh No

Oh, no.

 

I just deleted an email that was forwarded to everyone in West Virgina, everyone in the Mountain time zone, and all employees of Nabisco...

 

It's my undestanding that Bill Gates himself received this email on his top-secret GMAIL account and was so astonished at, that he promised to pay everyone who reads it $1.00 and also would pay $1.00 for everyone they forward it on to (since they have a new software they just launched that tracks such things).  Bernie Madoff got the email on his Verizon Wireless Web-enabled phone and immediately forwarded it to everyone in New York, claiming it was bea sure-fire moneymaker.

 

Also, the person who sent it to the person who sent it to the person who sent it to the person who sent it to the person who sent it to me knew of a person who knew of a person who knew of a person who knew of a person who got a mysterious check co-signed by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and for $9,346.98 three weeks and two days after he forwarded this very same email to everybody in his address book (which happens to be the same week he rescued the Mrs. Fields' cookie recipe from being stolen, and single-handedly supressed a violent vigilante uprising in Nigeria through helping their Minister of Foreign Aid to escape the country through a small wire-transfer of $17,346.22).

 

The problem is, the President of Argentina apparently got this very same email (it has been circulating for THAT LONG) and called it "junk", then his son died eight days later!! "Of course, this is a hoax," I thought, until I was stunned to learn that The son of former Argentina president Carlos Menem was, indeed, killed in a helicopter accident in 1995. WOW. I don't know anybody that was using email in 1995 except russian hackers, Al Gore, and Strongbad. Also, upon further research, I have learned that a lot of famous people's parents must have deleted this email too because a lot of them have died, too.

 

If you have anything you never told me, that you have to get off your chest, now is the time... because my days, it appears, are numbered.